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So Dan’s childhood BFF has no idea that he has any interest in the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite, let alone that he’s Gossip Girl. Once again, Dan looks shell-shocked by a Gossip Girl blast — though this time Jenny and Rufus are there, so at least he has an audience to make feigning shock worthwhile. But the way he — as Gossip Girl — talks about his 15-year-old sister in this episode is downright unsettling:“Breaking News – Asher Hornsby overheard bragging that Little J swiped her V card at his register. You shouldn’t give away the ending if you want him to pick up the book again.”And then, a few scenes later…“Looks like Little J didn’t spread her legs after all.But the blast shows Serena, who is Dan’s girlfriend at this time, buying a pregnancy test, thus sending the entire school (and Dan’s dad) into a tailspin. Oh, and then there’s this gem about Blair later in the episode:“Looks like the Virgin Queen isn’t as pure as she pretended to be. She spread lies instead.” Dan Humphrey: redefining since 2007.It looks like life is imitating art for Blake Lively and Penn Badgley.The couple have ended their three-year relationship, just like their on screen characters Serena van der Woodsen and Dan Humphrey.

The pair bring their family and friends together for a quick service.

Were Dan (Penn Badgley) and Serena (Blake Lively) meant to be? Plus, a star from Chair Happily Ever After: The episode picks up with Chuck and Blair running off after his father, Bart, fell to his death.

Sorry, dude, but we're hoping your second brush with death actually sticks. The cops are looking for the duo and their friends and family are covering for them. ) Chuck and Blair meet up with his Uncle Jack (Desmond Harrington, as creepily awesome as ever) and Chuck admits he didn't help his father. "I don't feel guilty, but it doesn't mean that I'm not," Chuck says. You said you never wanted us to be boring; we definitely aren't now," Blair says to Chuck, referencing his infamous season-two speech.

Thematically, it’s elegant — Dan was the ultimate pseudo-outsider, wanting to believe he was better than the Upper East Siders while secretly longing to be one of them.

Dan literally writing himself into their narrative, penning snarky commentary on his relationships with Serena, Blair, et al while playing the innocent nice guy, is a potentially amazing antihero story. Why are you pretending to be shocked when you’re alone in your kitchen?

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